Yum-bundance: Snippets of Big Food.

I'm big.  Like, tall.  And nowhere near a waif.  NOWHERE.  And most of the time I like it, except for those times when I don't.  So, I like when other things are big:  the sky, Pee Wee's silverware at the beginning of Pee Wee's Big Adventure, horse sized dogs...I don't know what it is like to be dwarfed by much of anything, so I like to pretend when I can.

I recently bought a fancy camera for a trip to Canada.   While the super descriptive macro function has always delighted me, I did not know the joy it could truly bring me:  the ability to feel small ALL THE TIME.  I really do love, not only the ability to magnify detail to an almost grotesque level of clarity, but also how it forces perspective on the viewer and instantly miniaturizes them.  With my first macro shot, I totally felt like Rick Moranis, know what I'm sayin?  And I loved feeling small!  :D



Concord Grapeage.

Concord Spinach Smoothie.    

                                                                                                   

                                                                           Giant Zucchini of Death!!!

                                                              

                                                            




   Zucchini Bread.
                                                                                                      

Chocolate Zucchini Muffins.







                                                                                                                                                                

                                

                                                      



 Pumpkin Zucchini Bread.

      

  

    

 TIE fighter carrot cake sandwich.

                                                      
                         Lentil Burger.

Dragon Roll.

                                                                                                                                                           

                                     Beer.

                                                                                          




Roasted beets and Turnips with avocado, butter lettuce and Citrus Cilantro Vinaigrette.

                                       

                                       Grape tomatoes. 

                       Tofurky Pepperoni Pizza.

My first recipe (Twofer!)

My first recipe!  That I actually wrote down!!!  KIND of!  WhaTEver!  I’m TOTALLY EXCITED!  

(Can you tell?!)

First off, I would like to commemorate this milestone by thanking all of my live-in partners for attempting to keep down all types of food, vegan and non, and for somehow tolerating fridges full of edibles, that usually went uneaten :(.  I would like to thank all my co-workers, friends and my family for thinking that following a recipe makes you a baking phenom.  I will also include a shout out to the Food Network, for being alive and feeding my food obsession wonderment with hours and hours (and hours) of barely applicable information.  For these things, I am truly grateful!  :D  

Despite the years that I have let my interest in cooking run my life, ne’er a recipe have I wrote (down).  This, I must say, has been quite a blow to my self esteem as I have only had grainy iPhone pictures to prove how delicious my creations have been.

“Look!  I made Garbanzo Bean Chili on Sweet Corn Cake last night!  It was so good!”

“Oo!  Can I have the recipe???”

“Oh, uh...I didn’t write it down...sorry.  :( “

“Oh,”  and often, “...liar...” as a long faced, furrow browed acquaintance turns and walks away.

 Garbanzo Bean Bad Pic.  I mean, Chili.

Garbanzo Bean Chili on Sweet Corn Cake!

...Or, more accurately, 

Garbanzo Bean Chili that goes on store-bought mix for El Torito Sweet Corn Cake*, or rice, or polenta, or cornbread...

1/2 15 oz can garbanzo beans

1/2 bag frozen corn

1/2 bag Boca crumbles (or other flavored protein bits)

1/4-1/2 medium onion

1-2 garlic cloves

2 TBL concentrated tomato paste

2 TBL olive oil

1 TBL chili powder

1/2 tsp smoked paprika

1.5 tsp seasoned salt (I used Chef Prudhommes Magic Seasoning)

1/2 tsp salt

large pinch of cinnamon

2 cups vegetable broth

1.  Chop onion and garlic 

2.  Heat oil on medium high

3.  Add onion and garlic to oil and heat until fragrant

4.  Add chickpeas, boca crumbles

5.  Add tomato paste and stir to combine

6.  Add chili powder and smoked paprika and stir

7.  Add corn

8.  Add seasoned salt and cinnamon

9.  Add vegetable broth and simmer for 20 minutes, stirring occasionally.

10.  Add salt to taste.

Serve over...er...whatever the hell you want.

*I made this vegan, by not adding creamed corn.  Duh.  Although, creamed corn is very tasty, as I recall.

Debate may surface surrounding whether or not this is a true recipe.  I can neither confirm or deny the absolute value of recipeness in the ingredients and procedure above, due to the uncertainty associated with how often the cook may need to stir, and the extreme iteration of the word “Add.”

BONUS RECIPE:  

(Also barely a recipe, but I wrote the sucker down!!!)

Easy Cheapo Vegan S-bucks Peppermint Mocha*

THIS TASTES EXACTLY LIKE IT DOES AT STARBUCKS BUT FOR LESS THAN $84 A WEEK.

1 package iced Starbucks Via

Vitasoy Peppermint Chocolate soymilk, chilled (YEEEEES!)

Water 

Ice

1. In a 16oz cup, mix packet of Via with just enough water to dissolve most of it.  (I use hot water because it dissolves faster and I’m addicted to caffeine.  Don’t judge!)
2. Add 4-5 ice cubes.
3. Fill cup with Peppermint Chocolate soymilk (YEEEEES!)

*Contains no actual food, whole or otherwise.  

The one thing The Indigo Girls, Cartman, and Elvis have in common.

'Cause if there's one thing she don't need

It's another hungry mouth to feed  

In the ghettooooooo  

(in the ghettoooooooo)!  

Personally, I can no longer think of this song without singing it...in a horribly awful Cartman voice. But really, after hearing Cartman sing it, how can you not???

I have a great affinity for this song.  Not only did I first hear it as a collaboration by the Indigo Girls and various other Lillith Fair greats, but I have also lived, that's right...in the ghetto (in the ghetto).  However, when I was a kid I never thought that my fam was slummin' it.  Well, at least not until I ate over at a friend's house.  They had all the foods I wasn't allowed to have.  Fruit snacks, Coco Puffs and WHITE BREAD (!!!), brand name and sugar filled foods.  I felt like I fell into a Candyland board every time I visited one of their homes.  To this day, I think of a PB&J on white bread as a treat.  (Wtf?)

The 80's seemed to be overflowing with crazy kids foods.  Fruit Roll-ups, Squeez-its, Jell-o Pudding Pops and various other  hyphenated foods exploded out in front of me no matter how hard my mother tried to feed me granola and turkey burgers.  It's all I ever thought about.  How could a kid possibly resist all those cartoon characters and  bright packages?!  I surely couldn't and I threw fit after fit, when I had to eat oatmeal instead of Cookie Crisp.

My mother did a very good job of keeping those out of the house, and I actually liked a LOT of the food she made.  Of course the blue box mac and cheese was my favorite, and even better with tuna mixed in.  Other favorites included hamburger helper, weenie wraps, hamburger patties and mashed potatoes with brown gravy, and last, but certainly not least there was Shit on a Shingle.  As I've gotten older, I have come to understand that there are many variations of Shit, but ours certainly freaks me out the most, and how it came to be surely has to be of the ghettoist proportions...Ours was basically creamed peas and tuna on toast.  A brown and grey mound cut by bright (if we were lucky) green peas, which without fail, always made me think of boogers.  ALWAYS.  And while this combination sounds increasingly horrible to me as I age, I can still remember how good it was.

The invent of the internet and my love of cooking has helped to make all kinds of food accessible to me.  As a result, I don't often just throw anything together anymore, nor do I try to keep a budget for food, thereby eliminating creations that might seem "ghetto."    I plan, I buy, I eat and often times throw away! :( I am rarely lacking in food for random combining.  However, as of late I have managed to dredge up a couple not-as-processed dishes that certainly fit my ghetto bill!

Casserole.

This casserole features veggie dogs, garbanzo beans, wild rice, corn, and PEAS.  And of course I needed something creamy (duh!).  The sauce on this is my version of vegan Chik-fil-A sauce: ketchup, vegannaise, agave nectar, and possibly a bit of mustard.  YUM!!!  

Creamy stuff+rice+beans+hot dogs+mixed vegetables= In the ghetoooooooooo!

Cheezy beer chili mac.

Not only does this dish look absolutely lackluster, but it was also DEELICIOUS.  Pasta can really do no wrong in my eyes.  Not even angel hair that has been cooking for 20 minutes.  Seriously.  I've actually eaten this grey glob of carbs.  Fer rills.  Anywho, I wish I had written down what the hell was in this!  I am oh so horrible at keeping track of recipes.  But I do have some idea of the list of ingredients:

Onion

Better than Boullion (I think)...or maybe soy sauce...?

Nutritional yeast

Tempeh 

Tofutti cream cheese

Sam Adams Oktoberfest

Sauteed onion, added broth goop, some water, and nooch.  Added tempeh.  Heated through.  Then, stirred in cream cheese, then beer to taste.  Cheezybeerycalorie-ey goodness...it really could get no better.

Fake cheese+protein grounds+broth goop+beer+noodles= In the ghettoooooooooooo!

These were fun to throw together, and surprisingly tasty, but in the end I gotta give it up to my mom.  I had my fill of McDonald's as a child, but she made pretty good decisions for my food overall, and I'm sure I'd be wholly unhealthy if she hadn't.  Good job, mom.  Way to feed kids on a budget.  Oh, and I still eat oatmeal instead of Cookie Crisp.  :D

It's here! It's here!

I am so excited!  I spent an entire YEAR trolling veggied out MoFo posts before I knew what Vegan MoFo even was.  (Hey!  It was when I was new, okay?!) But I am very excited to finally take part in the great vegtastic challenge known as the Vegan Month of Food!

 

VegNews Mac and Cheese with rapini, and Roasted Beet Sautee.