Thursday, November 4, 2010

The one thing The Indigo Girls, Cartman, and Elvis have in common.


'Cause if there's one thing she don't need
It's another hungry mouth to feed  
In the ghettooooooo  
(in the ghettoooooooo)!  

Personally, I can no longer think of this song without singing it...in a horribly awful Cartman voice. But really, after hearing Cartman sing it, how can you not???

I have a great affinity for this song.  Not only did I first hear it as a collaboration by the Indigo Girls and various other Lillith Fair greats, but I have also lived, that's right...in the ghetto (in the ghetto).  However, when I was a kid I never thought that my fam was slummin' it.  Well, at least not until I ate over at a friend's house.  They had all the foods I wasn't allowed to have.  Fruit snacks, Coco Puffs and WHITE BREAD (!!!), brand name and sugar filled foods.  I felt like I fell into a Candyland board every time I visited one of their homes.  To this day, I think of a PB&J on white bread as a treat.  (Wtf?)

The 80's seemed to be overflowing with crazy kids foods.  Fruit Roll-ups, Squeez-its, Jell-o Pudding Pops and various other  hyphenated foods exploded out in front of me no matter how hard my mother tried to feed me granola and turkey burgers.  It's all I ever thought about.  How could a kid possibly resist all those cartoon characters and  bright packages?!  I surely couldn't and I threw fit after fit, when I had to eat oatmeal instead of Cookie Crisp.

My mother did a very good job of keeping those out of the house, and I actually liked a LOT of the food she made.  Of course the blue box mac and cheese was my favorite, and even better with tuna mixed in.  Other favorites included hamburger helper, weenie wraps, hamburger patties and mashed potatoes with brown gravy, and last, but certainly not least there was Shit on a Shingle.  As I've gotten older, I have come to understand that there are many variations of Shit, but ours certainly freaks me out the most, and how it came to be surely has to be of the ghettoist proportions...Ours was basically creamed peas and tuna on toast.  A brown and grey mound cut by bright (if we were lucky) green peas, which without fail, always made me think of boogers.  ALWAYS.  And while this combination sounds increasingly horrible to me as I age, I can still remember how good it was.

The invent of the internet and my love of cooking has helped to make all kinds of food accessible to me.  As a result, I don't often just throw anything together anymore, nor do I try to keep a budget for food, thereby eliminating creations that might seem "ghetto."    I plan, I buy, I eat and often times throw away! :( I am rarely lacking in food for random combining.  However, as of late I have managed to dredge up a couple not-as-processed dishes that certainly fit my ghetto bill!


Casserole.

This casserole features veggie dogs, garbanzo beans, wild rice, corn, and PEAS.  And of course I needed something creamy (duh!).  The sauce on this is my version of vegan Chik-fil-A sauce: ketchup, vegannaise, agave nectar, and possibly a bit of mustard.  YUM!!!  

Creamy stuff+rice+beans+hot dogs+mixed vegetables= In the ghetoooooooooo!


Cheezy beer chili mac.

Not only does this dish look absolutely lackluster, but it was also DEELICIOUS.  Pasta can really do no wrong in my eyes.  Not even angel hair that has been cooking for 20 minutes.  Seriously.  I've actually eaten this grey glob of carbs.  Fer rills.  Anywho, I wish I had written down what the hell was in this!  I am oh so horrible at keeping track of recipes.  But I do have some idea of the list of ingredients:

Onion
Better than Boullion (I think)...or maybe soy sauce...?
Nutritional yeast
Tempeh 
Tofutti cream cheese
Sam Adams Oktoberfest

Sauteed onion, added broth goop, some water, and nooch.  Added tempeh.  Heated through.  Then, stirred in cream cheese, then beer to taste.  Cheezybeerycalorie-ey goodness...it really could get no better.

Fake cheese+protein grounds+broth goop+beer+noodles= In the ghettoooooooooooo!

These were fun to throw together, and surprisingly tasty, but in the end I gotta give it up to my mom.  I had my fill of McDonald's as a child, but she made pretty good decisions for my food overall, and I'm sure I'd be wholly unhealthy if she hadn't.  Good job, mom.  Way to feed kids on a budget.  Oh, and I still eat oatmeal instead of Cookie Crisp.  :D




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